Divorce is never a fun thing to deal with, but it can be even worse when you have kids. Though there is no way to keep the divorce from affecting them, there are some things you can do to help.
Any time divorce is on the agenda, it’s imperative to find a divorce lawyer. They are there to help guide you through the process which can take some of the stress off – stress that can negatively impact your children. In addition to that, your divorce lawyer can ensure that your rights and your children’s rights are protected.
Know What You Want – And Be Willing to Bend
Divorce is always a little easier when both parties can agree to the terms. However, this doesn’t always happen, as each party typically has a different goal in mind.
For example, when children are involved, both parties may want custody. This, of course, can cause a problem and often ends in a court dispute.
Sometimes, though, it can be avoided if a reasonable custody and visitation plan can be devised. The key to successful mediation is to know what you want, where you’re willing to give a little, and where you won’t budge.
For instance, you may not be willing to give up complete custody but willing to give the other party three weekends a month and Wednesday nights. As you’re willing to give up a reasonable amount of time, the other party may find this a good arrangement and agree.
If not, you’ll likely have to go to court. However, since you’re clear about where you don’t want to budge, a court fight would be worth it.
Keep Your Kids at the Top of Your Priority List
Divorces are tough on everyone – especially children. It’s a confusing, emotional roller coaster for them. Their worlds are being turned inside out and upside down. The last thing you want is to make it anymore difficult.
Though nothing can “fix” what they’re experiencing, the following tips can help make it easier.
- Tell your kids what’s going on. Don’t leave them wondering why dad’s moving out or why mom isn’t coming home. Sit down with them and explain that you’re getting divorced and what that means for them. They don’t need to know all the specifics of why you’re divorcing, but talking to them can help clear the confusion. If possible, speak to your kids together as a team.
- Do your best to never put them in the middle. They shouldn’t have to choose between their parents or feel like they’re betraying anyone. The divorce is neither their fight nor their choice.
- Try to maintain the same routine for them. For example, if dad normally drops them off at school or mom takes them to soccer, try to keep the same schedule. Some things will inevitably have to change, but the more normalcy you can provide, the easier the transition will be for them.
Your children are your life, and you want to protect them as much as you can. If you’re preparing to go through a divorce, keep these tips in mind to help minimize the impact on them.