It has never been more essential to instill and develop intellectual and emotional resiliency in our children in our extremely stressful lives. According to research, mentally strong children are not only better prepared to face future problems on their own, but they are also more likely to be engaged and successful in school and their future careers. It may be difficult for some parents, but avoiding the following common mistakes can go a long way toward helping them.
Parents typically do not want to make mistakes at first, but they frequently rely solely on their “parenting affinity” and fail to seek help for common parenting issues and problems. Unfortunately, many parents don’t have an instinct for what to do in every situation they face as parents, and they all make mistakes from time to time.
Common known and unknown parental mistakes
If the average parent had a dollar for every time they made a mistake, they could pay for their child’s college education in cash. The truth is that it is impossible to be a perfect parent, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try so hard for it. Some of the known and unknown parental mistakes are discussed below:
1. Negating the feelings of a child
It’s all too easy to dismiss your child’s feelings without realizing the consequences. If your daughter tells you that she was hurt at recess, telling her not to cry or be concerned may be appropriate.
In contrast, failing to empathize with your child backfires, leaving them feeling misunderstood and unwilling to share their fears in the future. Rather than dismissing her tears or concerns as unimportant, tell her that you understand her pain and that you are always on her side.
2. Neglecting your child
Neglect does not have to be willful or intentional to leave a lasting impression; many parents neglect their children because other priorities, such as their careers, interfere. However, any form of neglect, whether physical or emotional, leaves children with a low sense of self and encourages them to act out to get your attention; after all, they must get your attention somehow. Listening is one of the essential issues you can do as a parent, so lend them your ears!
3. Micromanaging every move child makes
Micromanaging, whether in your child’s room or your office boardroom, is rarely successful. Micromanaging children results in parents doing too much for their children, preventing them from learning independently, discovering their talents, and becoming self-sufficient. Your children will be more motivated to pursue success if they see themselves as successful. And the more they put forth, the better.
4. Comparision game playing
Do you enjoy being judged by other parents? Probably not, and when compared to their peers, kids feel the same way. Children, like the rest of us, are unique individuals with distinct strengths and weaknesses. Bringing up that Little Harry is better at math than your child will only lead to low self-esteem.
5. Allowing an excessive amount of screen time
Letting your child spend excessive time watching television, playing video games, or surfing the internet. Let’s face it: when electronics occupy kids, parents get a much-needed break.
Too much screen time, on the other hand, can impair brain function, cause mood swings, reduce social skills, and even cause insomnia. It can also lead to obesity because children spend more time on the couch and less on riding their bikes. To reduce screen time and to track your kid’s activities on smartphones, use parental control apps.
6. Threatening children to compel them to do what you want
The line between threatening a child and imposing consequences is thin. It’s not a danger to tell your daughter that she won’t be able to eat dessert unless he finishes her string beans; it’s simply a way of showing her that she must work for his reward.
Shouting at a child that you’ll never make them dinner again unless they clean their plate, on the other hand, is inappropriate. This type of parenting will not teach your child to be responsible for their actions; instead, it will develop a fearful environment.
7. Lacks rule
While it is not fair to raise your child in an overly strict environment, it is also not fair to raise them in an environment that reminds people of Lord of the Flies. Living without any rules, regulations, or limits is difficult for most children. If nothing else, rules inform your child about what to expect, helping identify the unknown and reducing the risk of anxiety.
8. Interfere on child interests
It’s natural to want our children to succeed, but we must allow them to succeed in the areas that they are passionate about. Forcing your desires, wishes, or “what could have been” on your child will inevitably result in resentment.
They might be as enthusiastic about baseball as you are, or they prefer to bake and prefer oven mitts to leather mitts. Allow them to choose their hobbies and support them (within reason – you don’t want to support a child who decides that jumping off the roof into the bushes below is their passion).
9. Shouting at your wife
It is yet another common mistake that most parents make from time to time. Fighting with your wife in front of your child, on the other hand, can hurt their mental health and educate them that aggression is the best way to resolve conflict. It may also increase the likelihood that they will end up in volatile and tense romantic relationships.
10. Leave children over-scheduled
Parents frequently schedule too many activities, such as singing lessons on Monday, soccer on Tuesday, horseback riding on Wednesday, art on Thursday, and gymnastics on Friday. However, being overly busy can exhaust a child and cause them to bully others. To avoid overscheduling, ask your child to choose one or two favorite hobbies and focus on them.
11. Forcing child in uninterested field
It is natural for you to wish your children to succeed, but you must also allow them to accomplish in areas of interest. Forcing your desires, wishes, or “what could have been” on your child will eventually lead to resentment. They might enjoy baseball as much as you do, or they prefer baking and prefer oven mitts to leather mitts. Allow them to pursue their interests and encourage them.
Parenting mistakes are unavoidable; even if you’re the mother or father of the year, you’ll make them. Raising children is difficult, and it is impossible to get it right 100 percent of the time. The above tips can serve as a guide, giving you the best chance of raising strong, self-assured children while saving a lot of money on therapy.